


Not Ready

by Erwin_Smith (Veroverse)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst galore, Cadets, Erunile Week, Erunile Week 2019, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Canon, Swearing, Trainee Days, erunile - Freeform, erunile week day 2, naieru, unhappy nile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 10:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20964995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veroverse/pseuds/Erwin_Smith
Summary: Nile wasn't ready to let go of Erwin when the day came that they had to go their separate ways.





	Not Ready

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy that erunile week got to exist this year. I have at least one other story ready for a later day. Yay! Not sure if I will write more, but I'm very happy with myself for being able to contribute to two days! This is for the prompt "What if we run away?"
> 
> I love this ship!
> 
> Enjoy.

“What if we run away?”

The sun was starting to set above the Walls. It always made a strange hue when it got to a certain point. How nice it would have been to see the sunset from outside and not from behind the Walls like some animals trapped in cages.

“We wouldn’t make it five meters,” Erwin muttered. “And if we did somehow avoid getting killed we’d surely become titan bait. If we were able to get away on our gear we’d run out of gas and blades eventually. We’d be hopeless.”

Nile frowned and turned a bit more into Erwin. The two Cadets were sitting underneath an oak tree. Nile was curled up against Erwin’s chest. Their fingers were laced together. Nile gave Erwin’s hand a squeeze. “I wish things could be easier.”

“As do I, but that’s just how life is,” Erwin replied.

Erwin was so wise. Nile saw it every day since the day he met him. He was so full of life inspiration. His crazy theories seemed to be what kept him going. Proving his father right. Maybe not  _ literally _ crazy. Nile felt bad for Erwin. For what he experienced as a ten-year-old.  _ A child. _

Nile was to hold onto Erwin for as long as he could. He knew the teen had another path already planned out. Nile wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him. Possibly for good. The Survey Corps...that was dangerous. He didn’t like talking about it to Erwin. It always made him so damn emotional. He loved that goofy kid so much, but he simply couldn’t express it enough. He didn’t  _ know _ how to express it besides the kissing, spending as much time with him as he could, sneaking into the haylofts in the middle of the night, uttering the three simple words. Nile knew it wouldn’t be enough to make him stay. To get Erwin to follow him to the Military Police. Because Nile knew he was too much of a dumbass coward to follow Erwin into the Survey Corps.

And it killed him to think that Erwin would be putting his life on the line every time he stepped outside those fucking Walls. That he’d only get to see Erwin when they both could take a break. That their only means of a sort of steady conversation would be letters. Even those would take time to reach one another.

He was going to miss the sound of his voice even if he was spouting theories. He was going to miss the feeling of his lips on his skin, his scent when they were this close to one another.  _ His presence. _

Thinking about the inevitable future was only making Nile’s heart ache and long for Erwin despite him being right there. He couldn’t push away the fact that graduation was quickly coming. That the choosing ceremony was near.

But he tried to ignore what was due to come, even if it was inevitable. Nile tried to focus on the lips that were pressed onto the top of his head and traveling around his chocolate brown locks. Tried to focus on the pair of strong legs wrapped around him. The hand that was holding his own. The other that was resting on his thigh. The intoxicating scent of Erwin.

Only then could he pretend that everything was okay. That he could try to pretend that they were able to live normal lives and not the complicated lives people in any of the branches had to live.

Erwin was strong. So much stronger than him. Incredibly smart, too. Nile didn’t know how many times he told himself that Erwin would  _ survive _ . That nothing would be able to kill that stubborn, brilliant boy. Nile simply wouldn’t allow himself to hold the belief that even the smartest and strongest soldiers still fell to the titans. No. Nile was too stubborn for that.

Nile tilted his head back and captured Erwin’s lips between his own. He tasted so good of the remnants of the beef stew they were graced with at dinner time. A smile formed on Nile’s lips into the kiss. He felt the twitch of one mirroring on Erwin’s. It made his heart go wild.

Nile wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr: [commander-erwin-smith](http://commander-erwin-smith.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [itsErwinSmith](https://twitter.com/itsErwinSmith)
> 
> Pillowfort: [erwin-smith](https://pillowfort.io/erwin-smith)


End file.
